Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Miserable Today

Couldn't stop crying in college today.. was very hard to control myself.kept thinking about my dad... don't know what to do about it.. its so hard..... so long I thought I was having a nightmare but now its reality. always thought my dad would be with me forever...but he won't....

Monday, September 14, 2009

Why me ??????????

I know I said I wish my dad would get rest but now that the doctors have said that he doesn't have very long to live I'm a total mess........ I love my dad.. He was always on my list of the people I can't live without.... I'm losing a vital part of me... have no idea what to do... life can play cruel tricks sometimes... help

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sick of Life

Sometimes I just get so mad, I don't know what to do !!!!! Feel like life is not worth living..... Is it ????? The only person I'm living for is under so much of stress that he hurts me without knowing it. I'm only human. how much can I bear ? And I find myself in a very sticky situation....... It seems my guy's parents have found a girl for him..... but he's refusing to do as they say. That's why there's so much of problems in his place....... I'm damn scared. cause I know deep in my heart that I can't live without him in my life... What to do ??????? They've even gone to the extent of bringing her into the house to meet him........ Any suggestions on what to do....... please please let me know !!!!!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Personality Development !!!!!!!!!!!

Today there was a workshop in college........ personality development........ it was, well, boring........ but at the same time really fun.... got to spend the whole day joking around with my friends....... but why is it that some people are always craving for attention ????????? is it insecurity ? cause we had alot of that today.... why is it some people want to be or rather need to be the center of attention ? I just don't understand that.... They act like they know everything. But the truth is they only know as much as I know. nothing more, nothing less......... And why is it that some people are happy to just stand back and let others work when its supposed to be group work ? Yet they'll always by your side when it comes to gaining credits..... amazing how people can be sometimes..... Had to come home early though..... At least today. Dad's not in good shape.. his cancer is not only killing him, but all of us really slowly... its hard to see him like this.... a man who was always on the road for his work now just lying in bed. tired..... when will relief come ? its been two years and he's still suffering....... Dad i love you..........

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Love's Amazing

MANISH...................... My love.... My life........ My everything..........What can i say ???? He's been with me for six months and counting and yet he knows me through and through.... even better than me in some cases.... his love is amazing......... gives me a reason to live everyday..... my hope for life.... my hope that there is still true love out there.. and i'm one of the lucky people to find it........ after so much of dissappointments, struggles, tears and pain, finally, someone to take care of me, to look me in the eyes and tell me i look beautiful today, to hold me in his arms when i cry, to scream at me when he's mad and then come and apologise though the fault is mine.......... i know whoever reads this must be wondering why i'm writing about him in my first post... its cause he means the world to me....... something i treasure more than my life....i can't live without no matter what.. thats all for my first post....... I Love You Jaanu